Really? Seriously?

In reading up on the whole peanut allergy thing, I have run across MANY posts and articles and discussions about parents dealing with people who just don't "get it" when it comes to their child's allergy.  They say that even grandparents or aunts and uncles will make comments to the parent like these: "you are just being overprotective", "a little bite won't hurt the kid, lighten up", or even "maybe they wouldn't be allergic if you let them eat it more often" and the winner, "I don't believe in food allergies".  Really?  Seriously?

Luckily, so far, our family and friends have been fantastic and have gone over and above in helping us keep our son safe.  My mom threw away the peanut butter at her house and she lives 5 hours away from us!  We met at a cabin for a ski weekend and everyone who came made sure to read all the labels and no one brought anything that was not safe for my son, even if he wouldn't be eating it.  Then we traveled to my parents and again, they were great at making sure he was safe and checking with me before feeding him anything. 

I think the biggest issue here is just the simple lack of respect on top of a basic lack of understanding.  My parents started to educate themselves and ask questions about his allergy almost immediately after he was diagnosed.  They didn't act like it wasn't a big deal and that I was just making it up.  They took it seriously and they supported me in everything and respected the fact that I am his mother.  They also took it seriously that as his family, they have a responsibility to keep him safe too.  So, it seems to me that the folks making these comments, first of all, simply do not have an understanding of food allergies at all and secondly, do not respect the parent to make the call for their own kid.

So, my goal is to simply educate everyone I come across.  Not in an obnoxious way (at least I hope not), but in a way that conveys to them exactly how serious the allergy is, but also that he is still a healthy little boy and is doing fine as long as we keep him safe.  I think many people do not understand the aspect of cross-contamination at all...that is probably the hardest part to explain.  Most people just say, "oh, he can't have peanut butter"...it is harder to explain why the person next to him shouldn't be eating it either because if it gets on their hands on the table and he touches it and puts his hand in his mouth, then he is eating it too.  That part is tougher to explain AND tougher to manage.  If all we had to worry about was him not eating it, that would be an easier task to handle. 

Now, with all of this said, there are parents who do go to the extreme and they shelter their child so much that the child becomes fearful and isn't able to participate in many of life's great adventures.  I am hoping that our family can find that balance between making sure he is always as safe as he can be and also making sure that he is enjoying being a kid.  It is also important that we teach him to stand up for himself and that saying no to "food pushers" is okay!  :)  For now, we are pretty much in control of him because he is only 15 months old...as he gets more independent, we have to make sure he is able to keep himself safe too!  We have already taught our daughter, who will be 3 this week, to say that "he is allergic to peanut" and "no peanuts - no thank you".  She will help keep him safe too! 

Anyway, I just feel very blessed that our family is SO supportive and so on top of things with our son.  It really makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside!  It also reduces the stress level a notch!  Thanks Mom and Dad and the rest of the family for being so great!!  We also have a wonderful daycare provider who has also stepped up and is doing all she can to make sure he is safe when he is with her.  I can't tell you how much that means to this working mom!